| Update says what? |
[30 Nov 2009|06:02pm] |
How did I manage to date two separate drug dealers in my misadventurous youth and yet have, to this day, still never consumed an illegal drug without having any actual objections to doing so?
Anyway, it's been awhile, ye old LJ. I have no excuses other than...didn't feel like writing. I had an--I've been sick, like, since last Saturday (the 21st), and today has been my first nausea-free day since! *knocks on wood* I don't know what is was--like, the lamest flu ever, some sort of parasite. I had a couple of headaches, but none debilitating or very long-lived. Mostly, I had low-grade (vomit-free!) intermittent nausea. Not pregnant, thanks for asking, though my sister managed to mention it so frequently (mostly in the context of jokes about the TLC quality program "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant") over the holidays that I actually folded and took a test. But I'm not sexually irresponsible or unlucky and thus, not pregnant. Right, then.
So, I worked yesterday, because libraries are open on unfortunate days like Sundays, and felt like ass for three hours in the morning (I literally laid down on my back on the floor behind the CDs for about fifteen minutes before we opened), but the rest of the day was fine. I hope I'm genuinely over whatever-the-eff this was, because tomorrow, I have storytime, and I have no idea how I'd manage it feeling like that.
Being sick-ish, however, afforded me the opportunity to marathon Queer as Folk, and now I'm on a re-watch of the good parts. I can't believe it took me this long to get around to it. Woobie hearts.
Oooh, and I got a haircut! My hair has never been this short, and I love it like crazy.
|
|
|
[03 Jul 2008|08:21pm] |
|
I am tired. I woke up at 7:15 today, and didn't go back to sleep, even though I didn't have to work until 1:00. So I'll be here until 9:00, and I'm tired, and hungry. And, apparently, a big ball of whine. So, in an effort to keep myself awake, and waste some time, an update.
Things I have been up to lately include working, reading, tracking what I am reading on Goodreads, knitting, and not-tracking what I am knitting on Ravelry. Because I am much too lazy to finish the things I knit, or to photograph things.
I have also been making Mark sleep in his own bed. In his own room. Okay, so that's only the last two nights, but I sleep so much better when I am alone in my gloriously large, comfortable bed. But I think the reason I woke up so early today was because I was worried he wouldn't have set his alarm in his room, so I went in there to make sure, and then I just stayed awake. I had big plans of getting up and reading on the balcony, but it was rainy and somewhat chilly, so instead, I took a bath and read on the couch and ate leftover pizza.
I have also been overeating lately. I had three pieces of pizza this morning, then a lean pocket at 5:00, and I am starving. STARVING. Yesterday, I was more starving, but yesterday I ahd a lemon bar for breakfast and a lean pocket for lunch, so that made actual sense.
I was internet stalking Bland's new girlfriend this morning, and reading her journal from her first semester of medical school, and it made me feel bad about myself. Guys, I never, in my entire school career including high school, college, and grad school, studied for anything for for than like, two hours. Reading other people's journals always makes me feel like I'm missing out on something, even though I am perfectly content with my life.
|
|
| Worries |
[18 Jun 2008|07:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 okay |
] |
Here are some things I am worried about at the moment:
1. Money -
I know, I know, this is a combination of obvious, generic, and lame, but I would say that this is the one thing that I spend the most time thinking about. I do not make much money. Really. Not kidding. Not Much Money, and obviously, I mean, I'm not destitute. I'm living in a very nice apartment (well, it will be very nice, once my things are all in it, and I convince Mark and Bland to clean up after me...), I have a bank account, I spent like, $300.00 this week on yarn and I made enough to cover all my expenses and that and some. I go out to eat with friends (more often than I should), and I don't worry about affording groceries.
My big huge worry is that I am not saving enough. That I am not going to be able to save enough, even if I do nothing fun ever and buy nothing extraneous ever. I'm still in the grace period for my student loans, I have no idea yet what the water/electric bill for our apartment is, I am supposed to wait until I have only one apartment to get renters' insurance and to switch my car insurance into my name, and basically, I have no idea how much money I'm actually going to have to spend every month, which makes it impossible to form a Plan. And, even if I did, I still would not make enough money to save the amount I want to save. I worry about this constantly, basically. I am not organized, and I am not a control freak, but I can't stop thinking about how Mark and I need to get married ASAP so we can combine our monies ASAP so that I can tell him when he's spending too much money.
If only I made $75K a year, I feel that I would be set, and I wouldn't have to worry, and yet, that would still not be enough money for me to feel like I made enough money to add the expense of children, and--I have unrealistic expectations about money. I think that in order to function with children, a household must have a combined income of $100,000/yr; so if I were to be a stay-at home mom, ever, I would need my husband to make that much. If I were going to have children and continue working, I think I would need a combined household income of $100,000 PLUS daycare costs. This is never going to happen, obviously, but what I really want is a HUGE safety net. Massive. I want a budget worked out with like, $1000 extra every month for every necessary utility/expense, just in case, and the extra would go into an emergency fund. I just--I want to not have to worry about money, and the only way to not worry about it would be that massive safety net. I know that most people are not like this. I have no idea what's wrong with me. My parents have always had enough money.
2. Work -
I read blogs at work, but only job-related blogs; I read this one blog of a children's librarian, and she's constantly doing book reviews and talking about amazing programs she's doing, etc. etc., and I want THAT. But--well, there are reasons, related to the system I work in, that I cannot do a lot of those amazing things, so. It makes me feel like a loser, though. Today at work I: scheduled a performer, considered the best time to schedule another performer, labelled/unlabelled some Young Hoosier books, selected books for Baby Storytime tomorrow, gave SRP points/prizes, did very little reference, actually, examined an inventory sheet, put books on hold for people, worried about certification, read some book/library blogs, considered schedules for my teen volunteers...but none of that is AWESOME STUFF. Uh, also, I wrote this entry.
3. Supplementary Income -
Related to worry #1, today, I have been thinking about getting another, part-time job. This is actually not possible, because I have a very irregular schedule, here. Another librarian here is in the process of writing a romance novel. She tells me this and I think: I could do that. I wonder how it pays? I am considering babysitting, but that won't happen for several reasons, the biggest of which is that, okay, yes, I am a children's librarian, but I haven't actually performed childcare for two years, and I have no references, as I've lsot touch with them all except for Ann's niece and her kids and my mom's neighbors. Also, I know how babysitting pays, and srsly, I don't know if it would even put a dent in my worry.
4. Mark -
I date Mark. I am living with Mark. I love Mark. We aren't married though, and I have told him on several occassions that he'd better not damned propose to me. After 4 1/2 years, I should probably be less hesitant about that marriage thing. I think: Maybe there's something wrong with our relationship that I don't want that. Or, perhaps, maybe there's just something wrong with me. I also think: This is totally a money thing. I don't want to be That Girl, but Mark doesn't make enough money, either. I know, I know. No one makes enough money for me. No one makes enough money, period. I do not have a financial screening process for my significant other; I make so little money that I have no room to talk about his not making more money. But he wants children, and for me, having children requires way more money than we make.
There's also, um, his family. Which is--no one seems to understand this but me, because they're perfectly nice, but they're perfectly nice in the way my dad's family is. Which is, guys, my dad's family totally loves me, and I love them, and I know their system, and I know their rules. Mark's family, not so much; I am not part of them, and they don't have to love me, and they never saw my adorable naked baby behind, you know? And they have rules, and they have a system, and--there are things that have been said, mostly by Mark's sister-in-law, but also kind of by Mark, and also by his mother, and yeah. I don't fit into their system, and I refuse to follow their rules.
This is more divulging that I usually do in a journal entry. Actually, this is more divulging than I do ever, to anyone. I would usually lock this down to internet-friends only, probably even private. But, I was reading a financial blog yesterday that gave me courage. And, how am I ever going to be a famous, paid blogger if I am not totally honest?
|
|
| Smallville and embarassments of yore |
[04 Oct 2007|09:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
pleased |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Smallville! uh, is over. The Office! |
] |
Once upon a time, I was obsessed with all things 'N Sync, and I also believed I had actual creative talents. So I wrote stories and I actually made a single, perfect* "songvid" as we called them in the olden days.
My computer has crashed several times since then, and I assumed that the (free) website I'd hosted it on was dead, but today, as I was sifting through old LJ entries, I came upon the one I made, announcing the URL. And it was still up, and it still worked! So I downloaded it, have watched it like, three times, and then I put it up on YouTube. You may watch it here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qvaQhCXIJMQ
It's so ridiculously embarassing, because the quality, and really, it's just ridiculous. Mostly, I liked the song, I liked 'N Sync, and I made a video. I remember watching it overandoverandover, because I was so proud and I loved it so much. I still find it oddly addictive. Anyway, there's my self-revelation for today.
( Smallville! Spoilers? )
|
|
|
[12 Jul 2007|11:36am] |
|
I have been pretty much super-busy of late. Or at least it feels that way. Worked Monday, went to Mark's family's for dinner, worked Tuesday, then Wednesday I went to Mark's sister's-in-law family's huge cookout/cornhole festival on the 4th of July, which was of coruse somewhat awkward, for me, given my mad social skills and my amazing badassness at cornhole. I have zero hand-eye coordination, I swear. Laura and I teamed up, because she has no depth perception thanks to blindness in one of her eyes, and neither of us wanted to inflict ourselves on a worthy teammate. We had to play two games to fully lose, and guys, we didn't even SCORE in the second game.
So, while this tournament was going on, and everyone in Mark's family (so, everyone that I knew) was still playing cornhole except Laura and Sarah (the sister-in-law), Sarah says to me, "Hey, Beth, come sit over here for a minute." So I went and sat next to her, and she says, "You know, Brian and I got engaged five years ago today." And she says it in this tone that suggested "Maybe you should get engaged today, too." Which is, you know, weird at best, but I think she meant it to be like, a way to get me to say, "Oh, I expect Mark and I will be engaged any day now," and then continue on to tell her all of my plans for our marriage. Something like that. I don't mean to make fun, because I do like Sarah, but I have been getting this "When are you getting engaged" crap constantly lately. People at work, mostly, but all the time. "Oh, you're taking dance lessons, is that practice for your wedding?" "Oh, here's a wedding book, Beth needs this." I guess it doesn't help that I have an odd, somewhat inappropriate (given the timing and situation) fascination with all things birth and pregnancy, and thus, can't help browsing those books whenever I'm checking them in.
So, anyway, when I don't volunteer any information about my marital status, Sarah continues on to tell me all about how she was totally stunned, that she hadn't had any idea that Brian was ring shopping, and that she pretty much jumped off the gator and ran to tell everyone the second they got back up to the house. Then she talked about some other stuff, like how her friends without kids just don't understand what it's like, that she doesn't have every day to just go to the pool, and that was strange, because it felt like she was telling me this because I would understand. But, no, hello, I do not. And somewhere in there she mentioned that I should be very grateful to her for paving the way with Mark's family, because when she started dating Brian, before there was talk of marriage, Mark's parents, and especially his grandmother (who wasn't even Catholic herself until she married his grandpa), were very very upset because she, Sarah, wasn't Catholic. So here's the part where, in my head, I start freaking out. Because, see, Sarah did convert before the wedding. And what if the only reason his family hasn't been weird and freaky and pushy about this religion business is because they expect that I will be converting. And anyone who knows me knows that, no, no, no, that is just not going to be happening. I'm not even a Christian, guys. I am willing, at this point, to call myself a theist. That is as specific as my religious beliefs are ever going to get, I think.
So, anyway, this is my current concern, and it brought back that thing from a couple of years ago, where, did I write here about the email Mark's mom sent him? That was all, "I can't give my blessing to you being with Beth until I know that you're going to be in harmony about raising Catholic children, and that you are going to go to church and be a happy Catholic family" only not quite so blatantly like that? Well, anyway, now I'm certain that the shit is going to hit the fan, whenever it is that Mark and I develop plans for marriage. All this was not helped by Mark's grandmother talking to me two days later about how she converted before she married his grandpa and how hard it was to find someone to be a godparent for their children, because her family wasn't Catholic and he didn't really have any family. And then saying, "But now, of course, the problem is choosing which person to pick, and who isn't going to have their feelings hurt by not being godparent" in this tone that sounded like it was supposed to be comforting, because obviously, that would be something I would start worrying about.
Sooo, anyway. After Mark got tired of being at Sarah's family's, we went back to his apartment, then we went over to Amy's & Andy's to hang out for a bit and play some Age of Empires III, and I'm pretty sure we kicked serious ass. It was so fast.
I worked Thursday, then Friday I went to the pool that Mark's mom belongs to, with Sarah & Noah (13 month old), Laura, and of course his mom. His grandpa, his Aunt Marla and Uncle Pete were there, too. It was actually nice, despite the in-lawiness of it all. I got to get some color, do some pooling, and read. Then we left around 3:00, and I hung out at Mark's parents' house with his sister for a while, and then Mark's dad came home and eventually, Mark got off from work and came straight over to their house. We left to pick up his cousin Andy (who I'd never met) from diving camp at IU for the weekend, stopped on the way back for Cheeseburger in Paradise, then finally slept. Long day.
Saturday I worked, and when I came back, plans were already in place to go to a cookout at the Peeples's. So Mark, Bland, Andy, Laura, and I went over there. There was some Bolo, some conversation, some food (these huge .25 pound hot dogs), and then some mafia. I was exhausted by the time we left (Andy was basically asleep in his chair), but it was fun. Andrew got super super drunk and called his mom a bitch for killing him in mafia. Pretty hilarious.
I can't even remember Sunday. I hope I did nothing, because I'm sure I needed that. Oh, I do remember. I read a book. Then I worked, then I read another book, then I worked, then I worked, and when I left work, I drove straight to South Bend. Which is where I am now. I have a dentist appointment, my car is getting looked at, and I just plain haven't been home for a really long time. There's so much food here, y'all. Cherries and plums and homemade guacamole and watermelon and nectarines and this delicious veggies-in-butter thing, and this Mexican lasagna stuff, and I love tasty food at no cost (labor or monetary) to me. Mom is awesome.
|
|
|
[22 Jun 2007|12:13pm] |
|
WTF, weather. From 90 and drought conditions to 60 and rainy. No swimming for us.
|
|
|
[21 Jun 2007|11:04am] |
Okay, it's been a while, but I am still alive and around. I do not have a lot of time, these days. I mean, I have more 'free' time than most people, because while I am working five days a week, at least one of them is always only from 4-8. Today I'm working from 12-8, which I think I'll hate, but we'll see. And tomorrow is Friday, which I have off, and Mark is taking the day off, too, and we're going to go buy me a bathing suit and hang out in his apartment complex pool all morning, then eat lunhc, then maybe more pool or maybe Age of Empires, and then we're going to the Christ the King (Mark's elementary school/family's church ) festival, which actually sounds like it'll be a lot of fun. And Kristin will be here at some point! Which is awesome.
Mark and I are taking dance lessons through the Indy Parks & Rec association, and they are going...um, guys, I can't waltz for shit. It's kind of embarrassing. And last week, the teacher made us switch partners, which was basically the one thing I never wanted to do in this class. Le sigh. But, it's fun, and we're actually probably going to look better when we do dances, now, even if we aren't learning lots and lots of the coolest moves. Our teacher is all about technique. So, I've been working 9:00-5:30 on Mondays, and then dance is at 7:30, so we eat in between. Then I work 4-8 Tuesdays, 9-5:30 Wednesdays, and then I go watch Mark and some other people (Bland, Nate, Cassie, Cassie's friends) play volleyball at a bar. And Amy and Andy have been coming, which is obviously awesome. I love Amy and Andy conversations. They are friends that teach me stuff. Not that I don't love Mark, and he's very knowledgeable, but he mostly knows about...finance. And we're together a lot, so I feel like I've already received much of the knowledge that he has to impart.
People at work are pretty much constantly asking me when I'm going to get married. Oh, my friend Katie got engaged last weekend! Which is not exactly unexpected, but good news, and I know that she's been waiting for a while (we actually looked at engagement rings together like, two years ago. Maybe longer) so it's very exciting.
I am trying to make an effort to eat healthier, because basically living with Mark (and Bland. And J.R.) isn't the most conducive to eating things of green. There's been a lot of fast food. So I attempted a moratorium on fast food, after one Sunday of Wendy's for lunch and Taco Bell for dinner, but it doesn't really work on Mondays, when there is little time for cooking, or Wednesdays, when I eat at a bar (not fast food, but definitely not healthy food). I need Mark to go grocery shopping and buy...well, frozen vegetables would be best for him, because putting something in a bowl with a little water and sticking it in the microwave should be easy enough for him, even when I'm not around. Oh, man, though, not healthy, but grilled cheese & tomato sandwiches are basically haunting my dreams. Those and Wendy's vanilla Frosty root beer floats. Ack.
This week, work hasn't been the most exciting, and it's mostly because we're--well, it's been busy, so there's not time for messing around, really, but also, we're missing a Cathy (vacation), and she definitely makes things interesting.
|
|
|
[31 May 2007|04:10pm] |
I am embarrassed. I, as a rule, avoid all things reminiscent of chain letters, and this includes sending invitations out to try new services. But, I am an idiot who, despite thirteen years of experience, hasn't figured out the internet yet, and I just invited everyone in my gmail address book (including, like, my mom and my grandma and probably many of you) to join goodreads.com, which is a blogging site (kind of?) for reviewing books. I hadn't even used it yet! It could've been awful and full of spambots and porn pop-ups and spyware, and I would've been the jackass inviting everyone to use it.
But, it's actually pretty nifty, because you don't have to remember authors or pub dates or anything to use it. Still, though, invites are oh, so not my style. I thought I was going to be checking to see if people in my address book already HAD these things. But no. I'm kind of afraid I invited like, ex-boyfriends or ex-friends or like, the freaking IU Registrar's office or some shit.
What is awesome, though, is apparently, other people will join things because I say to! Bwahaha. (Seriously, thank you, it makes me feel less like a loser.)
I can't decide whether to organize my bookshelves (on this thing) by genre or by the year I read them. Genre is probably more useful, but date is less...gray-area-y.
|
|
|
[25 May 2007|12:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
Saw Pirates 3 with Mark and Amy and Andy. Not my favorite movie (first being the funniest, even if only due to novelty, second movie being my favorite for...character-y stuff), but still a solid, good time. Definitely some hilarious moments. Mark LOVED it, and then said "Chow Yun-Firate was--" which was awesome.
Now, though, I am tired. And I have so many books to read! I need to finish Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke (a YA fantasy novel) so I can read Stephenie Meyer's Twilight, which I have heard so many glorious things about. And which I can't renew, because it has other holds on it.
I don't think I'm going to get much knitting done this summer at all. So many books!
|
|
| watching the tide roll away |
[22 May 2007|01:11pm] |
I hate looking ta library job postings. ( babble babble )
In more fun and interesting news, though, Mark got baby chinchilla on Sunday! He's much darker than Olimar, almost black, adn he has this little pink nose and he's SO TINY and SO PRECIOUS, I can't even stand it. His tummy is having some trouble adjusting to the new food, though, so I'm kind of scared to hold him due to ick. Olimar was freaking out when we first brought him home, acting like he was scared of this little tiny baby, less than half his size. He has since chilled out somewhat. If I were cooler at the internet, I would put up pictures, but I don't actually know what Mark did with his camera cord, so.
I finished reading The Other Boleyn Girl yesterday, too, and I LOVED IT SO MUCH. The problem with "realistic historical fiction" is that people too often read it and take it as fact--DaVinci Code style. But, I have a deep and abiding (and somewhat shameful) love of the historical romance novel, and this fit right in there, without the shame. Although, it is a DIRTY DIRTY book. Just, no actual sex scenes. But dirty. It took me like, two weeks to read the first fifty pages, but I read the other 600 in two days. Very engaging.
I'm just sitting around, wasting time, until 3:15 when I have to go to work. Gas is $3.60 today. Guess who is past E? This is what comes of waiting for the price to go down.
|
|
|
[15 May 2007|10:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 complacent |
] |
I worked today from 4-8, and right before I left, I got the urge to write a long entry about how I finally feel like things are going to be all right, in terms of a professional life, a career, for myself. It's probably stupid, because working as a circulation clerk does not mean that I'm going to have the type of experience that people look for when they hire a professional librarian, but I still--I feel like I've been almost cursed, but this job is the first job I've ever gotten that I actually wanted. I kind of started feeling like that was just how it was--jobs I wanted, I'd never get called back for, and jobs I didn't want (hello, supermarket cashier) would of course hire me within a day of application submission. So now I feel not-cursed, which is good. I dig being un-hexed.
Marks are playing Generals, again, and I'm watching SVU. I want Elliot and Olivia to have really hot, up-against-a-wall sex, and then be awkward for a couple of episodes and never speak of it again.
I have spent way too much time at Mark's apartment in the past few weeks. I think I've been in Bloomington for two nights and at home for two nights, and the entire rest of the three weeks, I've been here. I should...buy them toilet paper or something. Bland has got to be getting tired of me. But! Mark gets his new baby chinchilla on Sunday, which is awesome.
I wonder if people would hate me if I printed off Smallville slash novellas in the SLIS lab with my carry-over allotment. I feel less lame reading print-outs than reading on-screen. Less like mole-people, you know. I need to start bringing my knitting with me, here, or I'm never going to get this shawl even freaking started. I am currently reading The Other Boleyn Girl, which is so far, uh. Kind of dirty. And that's what's up.
|
|
|
[10 May 2007|07:46pm] |
Finally got all of my grades in. A, A, A-. Which, hey, is exactly the same as last semester, minus a "S" in my pass/fail-notforcredit class. I've been trying since my junior year of college for a perfect 4.0 semester, and dudes, it looks like it's not destined to be. Or...it's not destined to be without me actually putting in any effort at all. I'm lazy, y'all.
I had ANOTHER orientation today for work. That brings my total up to three. Awesome. Sat around and listened to people talk, and it's probably kind of weird that I would 100% rather have actually been at work. But I learned that there is a wetlands in Marion county, and it's in the backyard of a branch of the library. Also, other stuff, but that was the neatest.
I hate Generals, because that freaking game swallows both Marks up, and I am bored for an hour.
|
|
| Catchin' up. |
[04 May 2007|03:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
waiting |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Smallville, obviously |
] |
So, I am finished with my first year of library school. Not takign summer classes, which is good, because I think I might go batshit if I were. I definitely need this break. I will be working, though; everything just kind of worked out perfectly; this is the first summer where I don't either have to go back to working at a job I hate or worry about not having a job at all for the summer.
Amy and Andy got married. Beautiful wedding in the butterfly garden at the zoo with a rockin' party to follow. Great times. Kristin was back in Indiana for the first time in like...a really long time, and that was awesome, too. It's hard to believe that it'd been so long. I look forward to July like no other.
Work is good; I was actually there for eleven hours on Wednesday, because someone called in sick and I said I could stay, and I was amazingly NOT exhausted or irritated or bored. Well, I mean, maybe a little bored sometimes. I put about 15 items on hold because I spent quite a bit of time browsing the library catalog, though. Hah.
I haven't been home (to Mom's house) for what feels like a really long time--but really, it's only been since Kim's wedding in March. I'm going home for Mother's Day, and then the last weekend in May is Grandpa's birthday party thing, so I'll go home for that, too.
I have big knitting plans for the summer, but they'll only work if I can get more than fifteen rows in without having to frog the entire thing. I'm beginning to see the worth in lifelines, y'all. I need to invest in some unwaxed dental floss.
Mark is buying another chinchilla, it looks like. I get to name this one, so I have to put some thought into it. I'm still watching way too much Smallville--I think I got through four episodes today while Mark was at work.
And yesterday was the best day ever. Mark went to work and came back about half an hour later because he wasn't feeling well or something. But when we got up at 10:00, we went to Bob Evans (guys, I LOVE Bob Evan's) and I got some excellent breakfast foods. Then we went to Holiday Park, which is the best park ever. There's this amazing playground thing for kids, but we flew a kite (well, tried) in the big green area, and then we "hiked" on the trails in the woods by the river. Then we came back to his apartment and played some Wii. It was really really nice.
Well, that was non-linear.
|
|
|
[19 Apr 2007|02:52pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Vast - Pretty When You Cry |
] |
So, I've been busy. But I'm not really, anymore. I mean, school is not over, but I really don't have much left to do. I do need to tweak my website a bit, but that's really it. Pretty much amazing. I survived last week, and this week I've been working. I put a couple of books on hold at the library, adn they came in on Tuesday, and I'm so excited. But now I need...more knitting needles. Sigh. I want Addi Turbos like a mother. The ideal for lace knitting, apparently. Sigh. There's always more stuff.
I'm on the last episode of season two of Smallville, and I've kind of stalled out. I am just very reluctant to move on to a place where Clark and Lex break up and stop having sex aren't friends anymore. I'll have to get over the hump, though. Mark is getting impatient.
Stacey and I have been watching like...Who Wants to Be the Next Pussycat Doll or whatever it's called, and I'm bizarrely attached to it now. There was actual screaming with joy last night during elimination. That's probably the lamest thing I've ever done in my life. Okay, actually, it's probably not even close.
I still love my job. Not in a way where I'd do it for free, but in a way where like, there's nothing else that I could get paid to do that I'd rather do. Well, actually, I would do it for free, I'd just not doing it as much. For free.
I am really not capable of doing anything half-way. I sink into obsession. Except for, like, things I have to do, and those I'm generally only ever capable of doing half-way.
|
|
| sigh |
[30 Mar 2007|01:43pm] |
| [ |
music |
| |
James Taylor - September Grass |
] |
Today, I feel nostaligic and kind of melancholy. It is not the most beautiful day that has ever existed in Bloomington--it's a little overcast, but it's still a beautiful day. And it makes me think of summer, that summer after senior year when I stayed at 424 for--a couple of weeks, three maybe? after graduation, waiting for Kristin's doctor's and hair appointments in Rochester to approach so that I could go with her. I remember it being hot, and being such a peaceful, fun, genuinely worry-free time. Joy went home to plan things for her wedding, and then it was just Kristin and me, and Kristin would work in the mornings, so I'd get up and get dressed by the time she got home. And then we'd eat--I remember Fazolis and Applebees take-away and Trojan Horse--and when Amy got off work, we'd see her, maybe get a Polar Pop, and Kristin was playing Kingdom Hearts. And so I feel sad because it's not like that, and it never will be like that again.
And I feel sad that--okay, I'm in Bloomington, I'll be here all summer and next year and maybe next summer, but I know it's not forever, and I know that I don't enjoy it properly anyway. You know, I don't go to Bryan Park on every nice day, and I don't drive downtown and park so that I can walk around, and I don't walk over to Dunn Meadow so I can read in the grass once a week. But I know, absolutely without a doubt, that the possibility makes me happy, and that I'll miss that when it's gone. I'm strangely emotional today, I think, because I'm crying just thinking about this. There are nice places in South Bend, you know, and you can walk along the East Race and there are little used book stores downtown, and there are probably a dozen gorgeous parks. I'm sure there are beautiful places in Indy. But the thought of leaving these beautiful places is just, you know. It's kind of tragic.
|
|
|
[28 Mar 2007|11:29pm] |
|
I'm very pleased that Voyager people have begun showing up on my television again. First Captain Janeway as "Ma" on the Black Donnellys, and now Commander Chakotay as some priest on Medium.
|
|
| Kim's Wedding |
[28 Mar 2007|12:21am] |
|
Kim's wedding was pretty much amazing. Everything was beautiful--the room it was held in is a ballroom that was renovated only a few years ago. So it's painted white with arches and gorgeous molding and guilding and those domed ceilings with the chandeliers like you see in really neat theaters. Half of the tables had these tall centerpieces, which, considering the cost, I had thought were kind of--well, I wouldn't have had them, you know, but they really did add something, kind of helped fill up the space that the high ceilings and the huge room left. There were lots of people there, and there was still a crowd (okay, like, 15 people maybe) on the dance floor at midnight when the last song played.
( More stuff about the wedding )
|
|
|
[22 Mar 2007|10:09pm] |
|
Today I spent $80.00 on yarn. *hangs head in shame* But it's nice yarn, like cashmere/silk yarn, and there's a lot of it, and I've been eyeing this website forever with it's beautiful lace-weights and reasonable prices and and and. Sigh. I'm considering it a present to myself in honor of job-getting. Now I just need to buy books and patterns to use it with. Ha. I want to make--oh, I have ideas and ideas and desires. I need to buy myself some teeny tiny circs, now, though.
I do not have to do my booktalk tomorrow, which is kind of a relief. Now I only have to subject myself to one instance of public speaking this weekend (maid of honor toast). And that's all I've got, basically.
Still have to pack so I can leave RIGHT AFTER CLASS tomorrow. Eesh.
|
|
|
[21 Mar 2007|06:46pm] |
|
I have so much to do. I'm going to have to start being better organized and keeping an actual schedule and stuff. Because...I've never had school and a job at the same time, and I don't want to screw myself over and stuff.
So, anyway, I need to document what I did with the rest of my ( spring break )
Last night was Mark's birthday thing at his grandma's house, and there was some amazing roast beef. So delicious. Then this morning, I went and took my drug test. The nurse asked me if I drank a bunch of water, and I have been trying to stay well-hydrated since that fainting incident, so I said yes. And she said I might have to take it again. She told me about some woman that works there that was pulled for a random test and she had to take it three times because her urine was too diluted each time. I think this is bullshit. If your urine is too diluted to find drugs, they should just assume there are no drugs to be found. Also, why don't drug-doers just drink a shit ton of water so that they can re-schedule repeatedly until such a time as the crack has worked out of their systems? This seems to me to be a serious flaw in the system.
But anyway, there you have it.
Oh, wait, no, also, I have this cyst on my stomach, right in the center right under my sternum. I've had it since high school, bu it's huge now, like, the size of a medium-sized marble. And I want to get rid of it, so maybe I'll ask my mom to make an appointment for me with her doctor this summer or something. It's so big, it kind of grosses me out.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|